My Own Self Realization Path - Updates

The page My Own Self Healing Path had become so long that it became necessary to split it into two parts, and this is its continuation, containing my progress reports from the end of December 2006.

N.B. In order to get a balanced picture it is necessary to read right through this page - for the earlier sections display astral-sourced confusions that I still had at those times, and thus in many respects they do not reflect my current viewpoint and insights.

Update, late December 2006 - Sanity starts to prevail!

...And 'starts' is the operative word here!

An e-mail from a certain Dalibor Zaviska* - a lightworker and healer - set in motion the process of at last resolving my issue with troublesome entities**.

* Later note (January 2008) - I give this link for information / authenticity purposes only, and, as I'm sure you'll understand from what I write below, this does not imply any sort of recommendation.

** Later note (September 2008) - Actually, as you'll read further below, although that is true in a way, the situation was not nearly as straightforward as I thought at that time, for what I didn't know at that point was the extent to which Dalibor himself was also being deceived and controlled by the astral ('dark') forces. I now see all the different types of troublesome entity that he was recognising as being just as bogus as are ascended masters and angels. Indeed, his own so-called Divine Support Team and the similar 'Divine Support Team' that he helped me set up for myself were similarly bogus and had been presented to us to lead us astray.

Indeed, Dalibor's astral interference and probably partial walk-in caused him (presumably unawarely) to place highly problematical 'foreign' energies in my non-physical aspects which were then helping maintain the hold of the astral forces upon me and to hinder my clearance process.

I then 'knew' (i.e. thought that I knew!) that my issue was not just with 'demonic' beings and 'parasitic extra-terrestrials' but also with two 'dark' guides and a whole range of other types of entity.

I also learnt of the uselessness of the Am Re and Kashak symbols that I had channelled - and indeed any symbols at all, including the OM and Reiki symbols, for me or indeed anyone truly seeking to open up to and connect with the highest dimensions (levels of consciousness)*.

* Later note (June 2008) - I now understand that even the very concept of non-physical 'dimensions' or levels is part of the illusory realities that are cultivated in many of us by the astral forces for the purpose of ensnaring us. I no longer give credence to any notion of 'dimensions' or 'levels' of consciousness. There are different aspects of consciousness, yes, but the very notion of high(er) or low(er) outside the physical aspect of reality exists only in the astral sub-reality of illusion and delusion (i.e. 'the dark side').

Those healing connections with other people - 'confirmed', with qualifications

Dalibor confirmed that I had those healing connections (energy cords) connecting me with certain other people. He said they were highly inappropriate and always had been, for by taking on the ongoing emotional healing of those people I'd not only given myself an undue and quite unnecessary burden, but had also been taking away from those people various learning opportunities. The actual story of the circumstances in which those connections were made was different, but I won't go into this here as it's still channelled information and so won't necessarily be correct.

So, the important point is that it hadn't ever been a clever or helpful choice of mine to create those healing connections. This is great news for me now, for this means that with the right means these connections can now be dissolved - there being no reason why they should be kept. I am now using the inquiry method of The Work to 'pull out the thread' from the soul trauma and the resulting beliefs that underlay the ongoing creation of those inappropriate connections, and I understand that the EEI clearance procedure that I'm now using for removing the entities will result in these connections being dissolved. Also, the dissolution of those connections and healing the original soul trauma means that there is no longer any reason to retain the troublesome entities issue, so that the clearance process almost certainly will remove all those entities.

Will life feel different without the emotional and energy load of all those connections - and without Tiddles, Nobby et al!

17th January 2007 - Clearing entities, cords and vows

I have continued to have major clearances, of entities and other interferences, including the transformation and sending of a total of 10 demonic beings to their proper place as pure beings of light in the 9th dimension*. My state of joyful happiness increases, despite still quite frequent attacks from Nobby, my remotely connected 'dark' parasitic ETs. Although I have had forecasts - apparently from my own Divine Support Team though no doubt adulterated by dark entities - of very early clearance of my entity interference, the message from Dalibor's Divine Support Team is that it will take a bit longer before such interference is cleared from me. That actually isn't particularly bad news, because plenty of other stuff which I'd not known about before is being cleared, as is evidenced by the way I feel and the great improvements after further 'sessions', whether on my own or with Dalibor (working over the phone).

* Later note (January 2008) - All this was deception from the astral forces. No such thing was really happening. I write more further below about the deceptions associated with Dalibor, who was being at least as deceived as I was by astral forces.

I have had various visual impressions of entities being transformed and 'sent on' during my everyday life. My understanding is that a good proportion of these were for real, while there were some experiences that were created by a combination of entity interference and expectations from my own mind.

Cleaning my hara line

One surprising experience which Dalibor confirmed as real was on the evening of 30th December, while I was in the bathroom attending to my oral hygiene before going to bed. I got the distinct impression of the telltale tenuous peaceful bluish-white light around me, suggesting that my Divine Support Team had come around me and perhaps were working on me to do some clearance. Almost immediately I had a distinct impression of my hara line* as a very straight fuzzy vertical column of whitish light, and asked the Support Team if they were showing me this because they were working on it. They said 'yes'. They were cleaning it - clearing out various accumulations of EEIs around it - and straightening / aligning it, though it actually needed very little straightening because the hara line holds one's higher purpose for the particular lifetime, and because I was already quite well aligned with my higher purpose the hara line was consequently already relatively straight and well aligned.

The points noted about my hara line were:

• Its connection to 'Source' at the top was not 100% aligned (for anyone that is extremely difficult to get 100% aligned)
• The 'soul seat' centre (near the thymus - what some people call the thymus chakra, though actually it isn't a chakra) was in pretty good shape and needed little cleaning / clearance work
• I was shown the tan tien centre (positioned vertically between sacral and solar plexus chakras but deeper within and indeed on an altogether deeper dimension than chakras). It had quite a lot of EEI material around it, including some entities. I saw the tan tien as a fuzzy and not very bright ball of light, around which several intense 'whirlwinds' of energy were moving about, taking away what didn't belong there.

This experience lasted for no more than 10 minutes.

* Later note (January 2008) - You can read about the hara line and its relevance in healing work in Barbara Brennan's book Light Emerging.

However, what I recount above was once again fiction being presented to me by the astral forces - though incorporating an underlying fact. The fact was that a certain degree of clearance of problematical and distorted energies was occurring (not just then but during that period overall), including on my hara line, but it was NOT being carried out by any external beings at all. It was actually being carried out by my own deepest aspects and was being facilitated by the Energy Egg and Guardian Angel, and now additionally by the Light-Sphere, a little energy device which I'd received from Dalibor on 8th January. However, that clearance process was not able to proceed fast enough to be actually clearing out any entities at this stage. You can read more about the Light-Sphere and indeed the Energy Egg and Guardian Angel in The Clarity-Sphere™ - 'The Ultimate' Healing Tool.

The Light-Sphere - a user-programmable energy device (worn as a pendant) which facilitates self healing and self realization, especially when used in conjunction with awarely constructed affirmations or declarations of intent, such as you can find in The Guide to Complete Self Realization.
But before you start getting interested in that, have a read about the far superior Clarity-Sphere!

Dissolving cords and a vow

Those troublesome healing cord connections of mine to other people fell well into the category of 'external energetic interferences' (EEIs) and so were very much within the remit of my clearance process for entities. On 13th January Dalibor worked with me on the phone to guide me through clearing them. Included for this processing were not only the troublesome healing connections but indeed all 'relationship' chakra cords to anyone, because, I now understand, relationship cords are appropriate only temporarily between parents and offspring (the latter no older than about 12) and also temporarily between people in very close relationships. The notion that relationship chakra cords should remain indefinitely between people who have been close with each other is false as I now understand it.

Anyway, under Dalibor's guidance I went through a visualization technique to clear all my relationship cords including the troublesome healing ones. They all dissolved quite readily except for three of the healing ones. After a bit more concentration on those, two of those reluctantly dissolved, leaving one very resistant one.

Generally speaking, a cord can't be cleared when there is still significant learning to be done concerning one or more relationships concerning it. In my case I was pretty sure that the required learning related to clearing a vow that apparently I'd made in a particular previous lifetime, that I would never form a close relationship ever again.

In fact I'd attempted to dissolve that latter vow on a number of previous occasions, but still didn't feel that my attempts had been fully successful. Anyway, the name of my game now was to write down some key thoughts underlying my uncomfortable and 'heavy' feelings relating to that particular lifetime, and then put at least the priority ones of those to inquiry using The Work. I picked out from my list two particular thoughts which were top priority, and put them to inquiry:

• "I must have only 'XX' in my life";
• "I mustn't have a close relationship ever again, except with 'XX'".

It was the second of those which was the real clincher, and as I put that to inquiry I realized why my previous attempts to break the vow had been unsuccessful; I'd not realized that it was more than just "I'll never form a close relationship ever again", for it had three further weasel words at the end.

A vow (including religious and marriage vows, if they're really meant) is effectively a self-made curse put upon oneself, and unless it expressly contains a time limit, it remains in existence, carrying over from lifetime to lifetime, limiting your free choice and forcing you into outlooks and behaviours that are not appropriate for the later times. In my case the curse that I'd unwittingly placed upon myself in that much earlier lifetime resulted in my being, lifetime after lifetime, unable to have fulfilling close relationships, because, however close I became with anyone, I was inwardly tormented by a sense of there being somebody else - my ultimate soul mate - who I was supposed to find but was doomed never to find. That situation has continued right into this lifetime, up to the time of my putting the two thoughts listed above to inquiry.

Later note (January 2008) - I have let go of the notion of my having passed through an evolutionary sequence of previous lifetimes. Further below you can read about what was the real source of all these issues.

After the half hour I spent putting those two thoughts to inquiry, having recognized the connection between the second of those and the vow, I felt a great further level of happiness and freedom opening out. A couple of days later I read out the Declaration of Intent for the breaking of vows, to help make sure that any residue of that particular vow was dissolved.

Although I have all this great amount of happiness and feeling of freedom, for the moment I still have entities interfering in my channelling and periodically attacking me, so I'm not completely out of the woods yet. I understand that several more weeks of clearance work will have to pass yet before I'm rid of them.

Later note (January 2008) - Again, in the whole above section there was confusion and misinformation superimposed upon underlying fact. Actually there was a fundamental reason why trying to dissolve vows couldn't be more than minimally effective for me at that time, and the dramatically positive change in my feelings at that time was more related to the entities manipulating my feelings in order to convince me that I was clearing very much more than I was, in an attempt to demotivate me from actively seeking true self realization methods which would really clear out all these interferences.

Well, if they succeeded at all in the latter aim, they did so only slightly and transiently, as will become evident to you as you read on.

19th January 2007 - A bottomless pit revealed!

Dalibor explained in an e-mail what he believed to be the nature of my remaining inappropriate healing cord to another person. This in particular explained* my ongoing experience of deep grief and longings relating to the Gilgamesh legend and anything which reminded me of it.

* Later note (January 2008) - Oh no it didn't! Considerably further below you'll read what is the real explanation. All those 'cords' which Dalibor 'saw' were bogus - images which the astral forces showed him in order to give him and thus me a big fiction to try to throw me off the track towards the true means to clear myself of entity interference properly and for good.

According to Dalibor, this remaining cord was connected NOT to a real person at all but to Enkidu as an archetype in the human collective consciousness. The legendary story of Gilgamesh and Enkidu is, among other things, an archetype of attached loving between two men and a resultant unresolved separation trauma.

This cord, like those other troublesome healing cords of mine, had come into place at least in part because of a set of religion-based vows committing me to take on the suffering and healing task of all Humanity. That crazy group of vows had actually got me, through plugging into the Enkidu archetype, unawarely trying in this lifetime to heal the 'bottomless pit' of the separation traumas of all Humanity!!!!

Now that I knew the true nature of this cord I could explore within myself with new insight. The first thing that happened was a shift of awareness, so that the sense of a 'bottomless pit' of separation trauma emotion and feelings of attachment to XX now clearly pointed to that Enkidu archetype in the collective consciousness, and my perception of the relevant lifetime of mine was now neutral, as already was my perception of my other lifetimes of which I'm aware. In other words it no longer feels as though there is anything especially important for me about the details of that particular lifetime. Yes, there was apparently trauma in that lifetime, but that is already cleared or pretty well so.

Later note (January 2008) - This was all confused bullshit, because I still had masses of misinformation both directly from the astral forces which had been posing as higher sources, and indirectly from the astral forces misinforming Dalibor (posing as his Divine Support Team and his actually illusory 'higher' perceptions), who then passed that misinformation to me.

I've always had a strong impression that my feelings of attachment to and longing for XX (now revealed as the Enkidu archetype) were strongly connected with my 'gay' sexual orientation in this lifetime, and I noticed this connection very strongly now, with an almost agonized feeling of attachment and not wanting to let this go and move forward; also I could feel a lot of fear there at any prospect of opening up towards women. What was odd here was that I'd put all the thoughts I could find which underlay such feelings to inquiry using The Work last year and so by rights I should have cleared all this - so, what could be going on?

The answer was hinted at by Dalibor, who suggested that the issue might be not myself still being attached to the 'Enkidu' cord but an entity actually holding that cord in place. I asked my own Divine Support Team and got a clear 'yes' to that being the case. Further, I learnt that the same entity was also giving me a simulation (through feelings and pseudo-thoughts) of still wanting to keep that Enkidu and XX attachment and also my 'gay' orientation in order to try to prevent me from letting go of all that. That would explain why all my inquiry sessions using The Work had failed to clear this issue.

I asked if that entity could be removed yet, and the answer was 'no' because some other EEIs had to be cleared first, and this would take some weeks yet. Allegedly, in the meantime there is nothing that I can do to speed that up apart from continuing the work to clear the various other EEIs. According to my Divine Support Team the 'Enkidu' cord and the additional interference from the entity which is keeping that cord in place are "most likely" (but not definitely) the primary or even sole cause of my 'gay' orientation, so that most likely I shall be freed from that when the particular entity is sent on and that cord does dissolve.

Does that mean that I would then be supposedly 'normal' and heterosexual? My Divine Support Team concurred with my own understanding over that, with a 'no' to that question. The point is, I would simply lose the homosexual orientation and become free from sexual orientation (the latter always unnatural and a restriction, whichever way it points). Such freedom from sexual orientation is the true natural state of a fully functioning human. I would then be open to fully satisfying close relationships with appropriate people regardless of gender. And of course my life would no longer by screwed up by an inward fixation upon finding a nonexistent person as my 'ultimate' soul mate.

My evening EEI clearance session with Dalibor Zaviska

In general I'm not giving blow-by-blow accounts of my EEI clearance sessions with Dalibor, but this particular one is of note, not only because of its power but also because it concerned certain things which I've related above, and shows a fair range of the sort of things which can be worked through and cleared during a detailed EEI clearance session with a top-grade lightworker.

Four main areas were addressed in this particular session, which was carried out over the telephone. I was sitting on an upright chair throughout, except when very occasionally I got up briefly for a stretch. It would have been better if I'd been able to be lying down for much of the session, but, without a telephone headset, lying down would have been problematical because of the need to keep the telephone handset to my ear - which I'd previously found to be hopelessly fatiguing in that position.

As you will appreciate, a high degree of trust of the particular healer / lightworker is necessary for such deep and fundamental work to be undertaken, and such a person must be of impeccable standard and integrity, for otherwise there would be considerable resultant problems.

Later note (January 2008) - The above note is all too true! Just see my note at the end of this section!

• Emotional attachment to the Enkidu archetype. Dalibor asked me to concentrate on the idea that Gilgamesh and Enkidu had never existed and all I 'knew' of them was untrue, and to stay with every bit of uncomfortable feeling that was consequently brought up. For this purpose it was not relevant as to whether the sense of attachment was truly my own or was being caused by any entities - nor whether there was a historical Gilgamesh or Enkidu.

  I felt nasty feelings - a sort of fear and anguish - including a dull solar plexus ache. Dalibor then worked on clearing the attachment, noting that it was actually a complex mass of related attachments - so I brought in certain related issues where there was or had been a quite strong sense of attachment. Soon I could feel the nasty feelings clearing from top right, though the solar plexus ache remained. During this clearance process, at one point Dalibor asked me to assist the clearance process by tapping a bit on my sternum and indeed on any EFT tapping points that I could get to (bearing in mind that I was holding my telephone handset in one hand).

  After my standing up and having a stretch and moving around, Dalibor asked me to return to the notion of Gilgamesh and Enkidu having been nonexistent* and observe my feelings about that again. As I did so, something within me responded with a sort of amazement, sending tingles up my neck and into the back of my head - for where there had been all those nasty and tormented feelings of attachment there was now largely nothing - but the solar plexus ache was persisting, as though it was independent of the particular emotional attachment issue. I started perceiving a bit of the sort of shimmery sense of lightness and freedom which I would feel after having cried a bit.
  

  * As in the inquiry process of The Work, the point of this process was not to get rid of any thoughts (one couldn't), nor to take up a contrary belief, nor to go into denial of reality, but simply to let go of any attachment to the particular thought(s) - i.e. I 'unbelieved' them but didn't come to disbelieve them (which would be just another belief).

• That solar plexus ache. Next, Dalibor focused on what was causing my solar plexus ache. As he did so the ache increased quite a bit. He saw a 'dark' energy implant, and, behind that, a group of 'dark' (demonic) beings and a few 'dark' aliens. He removed the implant and transformed the entities and sent them on to their proper places. Before all the 'dark' entities had been sent on, Dalibor got one of them to point out to him all the energy devices which they'd left in my system, so that he could then remove them. I don't yet know how he manages to get such beings to co-operate with him in this way!  Maybe they're already partly transformed at that stage.

  During the course of this work I could feel the solar plexus ache being dismantled - not just reducing in strength overall, but parts of it disappearing too. Interestingly, at the point at which Dalibor asked me to rate the level of the discomfort on a scale of 1-10 (the latter being the maximum level of that ache, which existed as he started working on it), and I rated it as 2, he reckoned that the job was 80% done - so neatly matching my own estimation of discomfort reduction.

  Once this was completed as far as Dalibor was concerned (I think his or/and my Divine Support Team were continuing to work on completion of the process, including the soul retrieval aspect and healing the etheric wound caused by removal of the devices), he took a look around for the next thing that his Support Team was going to show him.

• 'Dark' cords in my back. Using a non-standard 'light', Dalibor was able to see two 'dark' cords in my back, which were invisible by his normal psychic vision. As he got to work on removing those he found some devices (implants) attached to them, and indeed some 'dark' beings connected with them. He removed the cords and devices, and transformed the beings and sent them to their proper place. Once he'd finished that he remarked that this work had created two gaping etheric wounds in my back, so he filled them with appropriate 'Light' energy and then asked for any appropriate 'lost' soul energy of mine to be returned to me to fill in those holes in my energy field.

  My Divine Support Team was to continue assisting with the healing process for those etheric wounds over probably a day or two, and Dalibor advised that I might feel a little temporary soreness there.

• Healing of my higher self. Dalibor had got the impression that today's work was finished, but as an afterthought he had a look at the state of my higher self and found that it contained some 'dark' distortions which had been caused sometime well before this lifetime by some sort of soul trauma gained while I wasn't incarnated. He said that these distortions had been causing my higher self not to be fully co-operating in my EEI clearance work.

  As you can imagine, this seemed a trifle alarming and scary to me, and I was wondering for a moment if I was to be stuck with incomplete EEI clearance and remain indefinitely not fully aligned with the Light. However, he brought to light (sic) something I didn't previously know, and that was that what we normally think of as the higher self actually is not just centred in the 5th dimension but has another area of sentient awareness in the Divine dimensions (7-9), which he refers to as one's Divine self.

  He said that in fact my Divine self (which contained no distortions) was actually wanting to assist, and all he had to do was to initiate a healing process which my Divine self could then continue upon my higher self, so clearing the latter's distortions. In our next session, in a few weeks' time, Dalibor will check with my Divine self whether it needs any more assistance in order to complete that healing of my higher self.

There were some other details that Dalibor attended to, but the above were the main things. Following that session I felt a bit strange, for some very major and deep things had been lifted from me. Rather than the radiant new level of happiness that I'd felt after some of the previous EEI clearance work, my initial impression this time was of a feeling of being energetically 'tender' and 'fragile', with much still in the process of healing and settling in, and so the emotional feeling was more of a cautious "Let's wait and see...".

I haven't yet felt any soreness in my back. Dalibor did say that only certain of his clients felt such soreness during the healing of etheric wounds which had been created during a clearance session.

Am I now clear of EEIs? -- No. Those of us who have significant EEI issues normally have many EEIs attached in what you might figuratively call a 'layered' structure*, so that the uppermost 'layer' has to be cleared before the next 'layer' surfaces and becomes noticeable and available for clearing. So, if I get more attacks from 'dark' or demonic beings, that doesn't mean I've got a return of Tiddles, but rather, that some more 'dark' attachments or connections have surfaced and are now available for release - in other words, that would be good rather than bad news.

Anyway, meanwhile I still have entities interfering with any attempt to channel information from my Divine Support Team and also attacking me in ways to try to convince me that the clearance process isn't working (they're failing miserably!). They'll have their turn at being cleared out, though...

Later note (January 2008) - The above section is scary for me to read now. Dalibor is one of those actually extremely harmful and indeed dangerous therapists who use hypnosis in their methodology. Fortunately, on the odd occasions when he tried to use it on me it always failed because I had inner alarm bells immediately triggered. ALL people who are drawn to use hypnosis have very serious and indeed sinister interference from the astral ('dark') forces, and in at least the majority of cases are being controlled by them via a partial walk-in.

Such people always have a strong pattern of wanting to gain control over other people - and that pattern in general comes not from themselves but from their partial walk-in or other entity / astral interference. Indeed, such therapists are one of the significant causes of people gaining partial walk-ins. Dalibor himself showed many strong signs of seeking control over me and to keep me as disempowered as possible, even while in some respects putting on a superficial appearance of seeking to empower me - not a healthy thing for a supposed healer to be doing!

The astral forces, via any partial walk-in of Dalibor's, were actually getting him to try to put me under hypnosis in order to get my awareness sufficiently out of body for them to stage upon me the partial walk-in that they'd been repeatedly trying to impose upon me through my whole life. Fortunately that failed because part of my awareness remained doggedly too grounded for such a thing to happen, but I now know that Dalibor did (presumably unawarely) put into my non-physical aspects some highly problematical 'foreign' energies - some sort of connections that increased the hold of the astral forces upon me** and were a hindrance to my clearing their interferences from me. At least I'm thankful to be well advanced in clearing out all that garbage now.

** Later note (November 2008) - They actually represented an aborted attempt to connect me to the human bot net in order to make me yet another of its 'robot' members, as Dalibor himself was. Anyone who's has been put into a hypnotic state by him is very likely to have been thus unawarely added to the bot net.

Very significantly, in late December 2007 I had an appropriate situation for myself to write an e-mail to Dalibor, explaining to him in some detail the overwhelming evidence of his being seriously deceived and interfered with by astral 'entities' and possibly a partial walk-in (he had previously intransigently denied that he had any such interference at all when I'd raised the matter with him, which itself was a warning sign) - and his response was not the rational sort of response of a truly enlightened and interference-free person. It was in turns patronizing and sarcastic, twisting round various things from my e-mail to try to make actually very silly debating points against me (so demonstrating that he had no real, rational basis for his continuing to disagree with me), and demonstrating a complete unwillingness for true and honest self scrutiny, and also telling me he didn't want further contact with me, and asking me to remove from this site all links to his site (a completely unreasonable and unacceptable request). He clearly did not want me publicly seeing through his defensive front - which of course is just what I'm doing!

* Later note (September 2008) - This was actually another bit of serious misinformation. Dalibor believed it, but only because his astral interference was presenting him with that picture. As far as I can make out from my own 'reading' now, people do not have masses of entities all piled in like that. Astral or 'dark' 'entities' indeed are not actual beings or 'entities' at all, and are not attached to a person or actually located in his energy system at all, despite healers / 'lightworkers' almost universally believing that they are. And if a person really had a lot of attached entities (i.e. actually within his aura) he would be so chewed up in energy terms that he would speedily die. Even just one attached human soul is generally a very great problem for the person and can wreak havoc in a person's life to an extent that the astral forces cannot do directly at all.

There is additionally a major and important issue of what I call parasitic lost souls, which do attach to people often in considerable numbers - I write more about them further below - but those attach at soul level and have a much lesser direct effect on the 'host' person's wellbeing.

The main thing that people with compromised energy systems can accumulate a lot of is soul fragments from other people or from their attached parasitic lost souls - but that is something different from most of what Dalibor thought he was finding.

...So, actually the real reason why I still had 'entity' / astral interferences (I do not now use Dalibor's jargonistic 'EEI' terminology) was because no entities had been removed, and astral interferences cannot be 'bodily' removed at all!

13th February 2007 -  Recognising 'dark' agendas and dissolving predestinational ties

Alleged healing for the Dark Realm

Things have moved breathtakingly fast since the above update. First, with my assistance, my ST carried out a major healing of my higher consciousness, transforming two 'dark' areas into healthy 'Light' energy and removing associated 'dark shields'.

Some days later I was given simulations of Nobby - my 'dark' parasitic ETs being sent on in a very beautiful way. That was fiction, for it turned out that I still had them, but allegedly my part in interacting with the simulated transforming Nobbies had been having an important disruptive effect (in a positive way) within the Dark Realm. To what extent that was true I still have no idea. 

Then I was moved to carry out inquiry, using The Work, upon the original 'thoughts' (at the beginning of Creation of the current Cosmos) of the part of the Elohim consciousness which altered itself in an attempt to create a slightly differently 'coloured' side or aspect of Creation, and, through a simple pang of alarm at feeling different from the unaltered part of the Elohim consciousness, had gone into a feedback loop of terror to unintentionally create the Dark Realm.

There followed on the night of Saturday 3rd February a spectacular and extremely severe all night ordeal*, in which allegedly the Creator consciousness itself was guiding me through an alleged deep healing for the Dark Realm (allegedly because "HELP!" actually cannot in itself yield to the inquiry process of The Work), by placing my awareness in the Elohim consciousness at the beginning of Creation and then myself going through something of the experience of the pang of alarm and resultant feedback loop of terror which marked the 'fall' which produced the Dark Realm. I was then taken into deeper and deeper and more intense terror feelings, with the remit that unlike the Elohim consciousness which formed the Dark Realm, I should maintain my self awareness as Elohim consciousness simply peacefully observing the terror feelings and the various disturbing Dark Realm visuals which were presented to me.

* You can read more about this and how I handled the situation in the relevant section in My Little Brush With Psychiatry.

In fact I can say after the event that this was just one more example of the 'dark' entities seeking to get me doing healing tasks by the most gratuitously arduous and severe methods possible. This all came out in the wash the following Monday evening, following a long telephone session with Dalibor. He had found that I had two inappropriate and not fully Light-aligned beings at the level of my Divine Support Team and sent them on. As after that session I still had the interference from what had been claiming to be the Creator consciousness, I asked my own ST whether there were at their level any further beings around me who were not fully aligned with the Light, and this resulted in two more beings getting removed from that level. I then learnt that one of those had been not only my Creator consciousness impersonator but had also been 'Ahn' and my bullying, hectoring 'guidance' in other ordeals, particularly the ones leading to hospitalizations.

So, there you have it. I see two possible reasons for the semblance of a task of mine to heal the Dark Realm and transform it to the originally intended state as a beautiful alternative Light Realm, and 'dark' beings manipulating me into getting into those practices:

• Either: The practices could have no significant effect, so the 'dark' beings didn't mind kidding me that I was supposedly achieving something with those practices - and by getting me thinking I was healing the Dark Realm they'd be getting me involved in their agenda of trying to convince me that I was some sort of superman who was running the world and indeed all Creation.

• Or: The practices did all have significant effect - particularly the inquiry work - and, as indeed claimed, I'd initiated a speedy and now automatic Enlightenment process for the Dark Realm, which would complete within a quite small number of years.

  If that were the case, then on the face of it the high-level 'dark' being which had been posing as the Creator consciousness (I call that being Pooh Bear or Mr Pooh to maintain a sense of lightness in the proceedings) was behaving in a very strange way, seeking to get me to speed the supposed Enlightening of the Dark Realm - which is the sort of thing one might expect 'dark' beings to strenuously try to turn me away from. On the other hand, if it was already known within the Dark Realm that the Realm was going to be 'wound up' at this time, then actually what I did during that all-night spectacular wouldn't have made much difference and in the view of Mr Pooh it probably carried the distinct possibility of wrecking me or even enabling me to get transformed into a 'dark' being in the Dark Realm. However if that was his aim, once again I proved tougher than Mr Pooh bargained for, and I came out of it all still stronger against his little designs, and indeed then actually got rid of him.

I may or may not have served some Divine purpose in my supposed healing work for the Dark Realm, but I've drawn a line under that now. As to which of the above alternatives was true, I simply don't know, and I let go of all that and keep a very open mind.

Later note (January 2008) - Again, I have to say it - Bullshit!

However, one could at least say that I had the most elaborate and convoluted 'entertainments' laid on for me by the astral forces! I actually have no idea whether there really was a specific type of troublesome entity to which my name of Mr Pooh could apply*. At least as likely, astral entities were simply instructed to behave in different ways to me at different times, so giving the impression of different types of entity. Dalibor believed in a whole range of 'dark' entity types, which he actually 'saw' - but we need to remember that when Dalibor 'saw' any of them, all he was seeing really was images which his own interfering astral entities were showing him in order to get him believing what they wanted him to believe.

* Later note (November 2008) - Haha! I do now! It actually wasn't a true entity at all, but the overall manifestation, as in all the most major and involved crisis sequences of mine, of the human bot net's 'direct' interference with me to try to take me over or destroy me. Apparently, at other times the bot net was not paying direct attention to me and simply left the highly injurious programming of the mass of astral thought forms to continue interference and attacks upon me on a much more opportunistic and less purposeful manner.

However, although I 'bullshit' all the 'story' that I was given, it is a different matter about when any person with very deep awareness directs that awareness towards dissolving or transforming the astral sub-reality (what in the above section I was calling the Dark Realm). When we do that we are going beyond the ordinary, apparent limitations of the individual person and can have a significant effect for all people in very slightly weakening the hold of the astral forces upon them. This is true primarily for people who are enlightened and thus directly perceive their true nature as being fundamental consciousness rather than as any (actually illusory) 'being of Light' that the astral forces try to get us seeing ourselves as if we are on any sort of healing or 'spiritual' path.

Especially during the tremendous and spectacular ordeal on the night of Saturday 3rd February, I was treating the whole situation as a healing one in a rare and exceptionally powerful way. The astral forces had given me the healing context of the story really as a lure to get me ungrounding my awareness 'Big Time', so that they could at last get their partial walk-in installed in my system. The aim, apparently, was to get me truly terrified and freaked out by the very taxing experiences I was taken through so that I would go out of body sufficiently for their nefarious purpose, but in the event I remained peaceful observer and maintained throughout a clear intent that I was giving a powerful healing, effectively to 'What Is' to help dissolve the 'Dark Realm' - i.e. the astral sub-reality. Okay, my understanding at that time was distorted by the various misinformations which I'd been given, but some sort of real process was happening in my maintaining a strong healing perspective throughout the long ordeal and remaining peaceful observer, carefully controlling my breathing all the time - which was one particular thing which greatly helped maintain a basic level of grounding of my awareness, so protecting me against anything really untoward happening.

This was so effective that when the 'now I'm being raped by demons' tableau was staged on me, quite well on in the small hours, it was virtually a non-event, for when that was announced to me, instead of being horrified or terrified I was simply mildly curious to see what I was about to be presented with - being well aware that it could be nothing more than another set of 'dark' visuals and some nasty 'attack' feelings to go with it, and that really I was lying completely safe and alone in my bed. In the event the visuals for that bit of the show were vague and confused, and, likewise, the associated attack feelings (including some vague transient waves of sexual arousal) were also, although certainly not pleasant, vague and confused, and much less taxing than some of what had been launched on me earlier that night - so it was one big anticlimax!

As to whether any Divine purpose was being served by my going through all that ordeal - I do not nowadays talk or indeed think in terms of Divine purpose or indeed Divine anything, because the very notion of anything being Divine comes from the astral sub-reality, and is thus 'of the dark side'. The 'highest' purpose that there can be in our lives is that of fundamental consciousness (universal consciousness or 'the Ultimate'), which is the underlying true nature of each one of us. I have little doubt that, despite my various confusions at that time, through handling the abovementioned ordeals in the way I did, I was serving some underlying purpose of my incarnated existence as a manifestation of fundamental consciousness.

Sorting out agendas and dissolving 'dark force' predestination

It was just a few days after that massive ordeal and the sending on of 'Mr Pooh' that I became aware that there appeared to be a large-scale 'dark' agenda for me, which had been distorting this and countless previous lifetimes* of mine, and saw that all appearances of higher 'guidance' seeking to involve me with world or Cosmic scenarios, and seeking to get me fixating on particular future roles or outcomes for me or Humanity, were all from the 'dark side' and thus to be ignored.

* Later note (April 2007) - As previously noted, I now keep clear of notions as to whether I've had previous lifetimes or not.

The point here is that what you might call the true Divine Plan unfolds through a process of interacting free choice, and thus any plan that is truly of the Light cannot be described in a concrete way with specific schedules and outcomes at particular times in the future. Such predetermined outcomes can come about only through the operation of power / control agendas - and that means the 'dark forces'. If some Divine intervention in order to stem Humanity's rapid progress towards making Earth unable to support them is really taking place as I'd been told, I'm sure that it would occur in a much more flowing and 'open' way than the sort of control agendas for Humanity's future which have been presented to me or indeed to so many other channels throughout the world.

This clear understanding brought me great relief, for I immediately realized how I could speedily dissipate 'dark' influences in my life. The old 'dark' agenda for events in my life would no doubt take quite some time to 'run down' and finally dissipate, but at least by keeping clear of all agendas and following my own free choice based on my deepest good sense, I could make 'light' and positive use of every synchronicity or event which the predetermination of the old agenda brought to me. If some sort of major and maybe prominent role for me was in the Divine Plan, then that would unfold without my having to know in advance that, say, in 5 years' time I would be doing xyz - so I could get on with doing things I enjoy and simply be open to the opportunities which life presents.

One step that I took was to start using a new formal Declaration of Intent which I had written out for me to include with those used for EEI clearing. The new Declaration of Intent was for releasing oneself from all inappropriate predestinational ties and incarnational and trans-incarnational agendas. My formally reading this out (it's addressed to the very highest will) had an immediate effect and I felt dramatically freer, as though stepping into not only a new life but altogether a new mode of existence, in which the oppressive sense of predestination which had bugged me increasingly in this lifetime was replaced with free choice and a new feeling of adventure in all of life.

This change has been extremely timely, for the 'dark' agenda which had kept me isolated and without close friends or deeply loving relationships until now had apparently arranged a convergence upon me at this time of certain men who are very strongly connected with me from previous lifetimes, supposedly with the intention that they become closely attached lovers of mine - and now I understood what was going on and how to turn it all around, if indeed it was anything more than just another one of the 'dark'-sourced fictions.

Possibly such a convergence has started, and, rather than shunning any lovely people who come to me, the name of the game is positive friendships, based on mutual healing and entity clearance, healthy love with non-attachment, non-exclusiveness, and altogether masses of mutual support in aligning fully with the Light and so dispelling all 'dark' influences. Thus the working out of the 'dark' agenda for me is now beginning to provide the material for its own dissolution and replacement with free choice and the joyful happiness which that brings with it.

Later note (January 2008) - Again I have to say it. Most of the interpretation of my situation which I recount in the above whole section is confused and distorted, albeit being based on elements of fact. I'm not going to do a detailed post-mortem on the above section, and would simply counsel for you to take with a shovelful of salt all those details of what was supposedly happening, and to read on in order to see a clearer and more balanced view developing as I let go of all the misinformation.

3rd April 2007 - "Mostly 'self made demons' now"

I have now for over a month been not interacting with any entities, nor interpreting any interferences specifically as entity originated - keeping an open mind as to whether they are from real entities or self made simulations of them. I still get 'no' flashes in response to thoughts of mine, but for quite a while now they've been rare apart from when I'm thinking that those responses seem to be rare nowadays.

Dalibor has confirmed that at least most of my interference is now coming from 'self made demons' - simulations which have been created by my own mind to replace the real ones which have been sent off. They require a rather different healing approach than the real entities - in particular, dissolving the buried beliefs which have caused them to be created - and giving a lot of healing to my higher consciousness, which has been carrying an ancient trauma and has had a distorted notion of what is for my highest good.

I'm continuing to keep fully closed to channelling in order not to empower any remaining entities by accepting channelled information or guidance which is adulterated by them.

The main nuisance I'm getting at the moment is clenching of my anus and bladder sphincter. The anus clenching is sometimes now severe to very severe, making my haemorrhoids very painful indeed and making a fissure very liable to occur (that would greatly increase the torture). Whether internally originated demon simulations or remaining real demonic entities are doing this I just don't know.

Later note (October 2007) - As will be seen further below, this notion of my real entities having been mostly or even completely removed at this stage, leaving only self created simulations of entities, was completely wrong. In fact Dalibor had been if anything even more extensively deceived by the astral forces than I'd been, because he'd not been sufficiently questioning about his own state of affairs and was believing that he was free of astral interference and actually had a true support team of Divine beings from whom he could channel and receive guidance, while that was actually far from the real situation.

I'm now clear that his (and my) Divine Support team was as bogus as any self respecting 'ascended master', and that all the entity removal he did for me was faked for him by the astral entities which were, unbeknown to him, presenting him with images of what they wanted him to see (while he'd happily been believing that he was really seeing demons and other entities being cleared off). In fact little or nothing had been sent off at that stage. 

I had, however, gained greatly from Dalibor in having got much more focused towards effective entity removal from myself, and through two small but potent energy devices which I had from him - the Light-Sphere and Energy Stone. These latter were genuinely helping to take me forward to getting really effective clearance methods, and indeed were then to come into their own in working with those methods to significantly enhance them. You can read more about them in The Clarity-Sphere - 'The Ultimate' Healing Tool.

The Light-Sphere (left) and the Energy Stone, showing their protective coverings. The Light-Sphere has a fine mesh plus a quite thick multicoating of transparent polyurethane over it, while the Energy Stone has just a relatively very coarse net (with a tiny loop), which I think is probably not so much for protection but more to enable the Energy Stone to be suspended somewhere.
They are deceptively small (considering their power in 'energy' terms), both being spheres of optical-quality quartz no more than 15 mm diameter.

22nd April 2007 - Letting go of all channelled information

Some two weeks ago somebody e-mailed me asking me how he might reconcile the writings of Steve Gamble* with my own on this website (i.e. in April 2007) - both of which he much respected. I read some of Steve's writings and was brought up with a jolt, for, although they were problematical and showing that Steve himself had a quite serious issue with the astral forces interfering with him and distorting his outlook, those writings had faced me with a number of matters that had been niggling at the back of my mind. The resultant change of outlook of mine is described in Better Without Channelling.

* This link is here for information and authenticity only, and does not indicate any recommendation.

So, without concerning myself about whether anything in particular in Steve's writings was correct, I decided at once to let go of all channelled information, and then set about removing from this site all channelled information except where I wanted to use bits of it to show what confusions the astral ('dark') forces had caused me through all the channelling. That also meant that I let go of all 'spiritual realities', including alleged past lives of mine or anyone else's, and even the 'fact' of reincarnation, because these can never be verified and alternative explanations cannot be ruled out, and all such information is liable to be distorted or even fully invented by the interfering astral forces, and encourages us to believe in illusory scenarios which actually obstruct our progress to full self realization and full freedom from 'dark' interference and influences.

Please note that I'm not actually dismissing reincarnation and past lives of my own, for I have no means of knowing that we haven't had previous lifetimes. I'm just letting go of all views on the subject and concentrating on living life in the present.

I myself had previously been given, among others, the following supposed past personalities of myself:

• the original basis of Lemminkainen in the Kalevala;
• the (purported) historical Gilgamesh (with a different story than in the legend, though still with a lover called Enkidu);
• The biblical Elisha;
• Jesus (briefly);
• Jesus' disciple Simon Peter.

Also I had been given details of really over-the-top violent/grisly deaths of myself, and depraved acts of mine, in quite a lot of lifetimes, including the alleged Gilgamesh one. There was lots of sexual depravity involving disembowelling and even sometimes mutual disembowelling - very much the fingerprints of astral-sourced distortions of any actual situation back then.

I'd also had certain images at the back of my mind, which I took to be past life memories as they couldn't really be from this lifetime of mine. The catch is that I couldn't know really whether they were indeed past life memories of mine or whether they were from particular memories or archetypes that did not belong to me but which for some reason had got attached to me - very likely with the help of the astral forces. One such image that came up was apparently of Padmasambhava giving me an empowerment in Tibet in the 700s A.D. But, even if it really was Padmasambhava in that image, was it really me that he'd been giving that empowerment to? There's no way I could know such a thing.

As regards the prominent past personalities, it's pretty common knowledge that various people get told that they were, or even right now are, Jesus - and I wouldn't be in the least surprised to learn that some other people have been told from supposedly higher sources that they'd been one or more of the others in my above list - particularly Gilgamesh.

So, my aim now is to leave such channelled information out of the equation, and indeed that relating to the nature of any higher reality - the various non-physical dimensions and higher beings. As to whether I continue working with my Divine Support Team, that is an area of some uncertainty at the moment, but my current inclination is to continue working with them, but simply keeping a completely open mind about whether they are really distinct beings or are really just manifestations of a very high part of myself. There is nothing to stop me working additionally from my core star or core essence - my individuated aspect of the naked awareness of which I and all living things are a manifestation. I do not need to channel from my Divine Support Team; I can simply ask them to assist in the various healing / lightworking tasks. That way I can find over time what works best for me - in different situations and overall.

Later note (October 2007) - Soon after writing the above, with my new approach the supposed Divine Support Team rapidly became less significant to me and effectively faded out of my life as I focused simply on my core essence, which after all, as 'the Ultimate', is the 'highest' source of all and therefore 'higher' than any supposed external Divine beings.

I subsequently came to realize that the Divine Support Team was actually just as much an astral ('dark side') invention as archangels or ascended masters, and that Dalibor Zaviska had actually been extensively deceived about this matter himself.

9th September 2007 - Clear of ALL the deceptions, at last!

This is the anniversary of my most extraordinary dark-forces-led hiking experience last year*. What tremendous change I've been through since then! I laugh now as I look at even the most recent previous entries above, to see so clearly the extent of my continuing astral-entities-sourced confusions at that time. The final big breakthrough came through my going on an Energy Awareness Training workshop with Stephen and Lynda Kane**.

* See One Right Weirdo Hike - What Do You Make of This?.

** For more about these, please see Healing and Self Realization - The Safest and Quickest Way.

I attended one of these workshops in May 2007, and its effect was dramatic for me - even more so as I booked a personal Energy Solutions consultation with them following the workshop. Through both means I've been given tremendously effective tools for improving my life, which hadn't been available to me from other sources of which I'm aware. Among other things, I brought back from that workshop and consultation:

• Energy testing - the ability to test (without a pendulum*, and just managing to keep clear of my interference from the astral forces) any element in my living environment, and indeed any current or prospective choice of mine, as to whether or not it is or would be beneficial to me, and, in the case of objects, what their optimum placing would be for harmonious energetic relationship with me (i.e. without reference to arcane and often barmy Feng Shui rules which completely fail to take into account individual people's resonances and sensitivities). Within a day of the consultation I'd already made some details in my flat (something of a Feng Shui disaster area) more healthy, with various other enhancements getting nicely lined up for bringing into effect over the following days, weeks and months.

  * I should point out, though, that most people who attend the basic Energy Awareness Training workshop would not immediately become able to use non-pendulum means of testing, though ongoing use of the various practices progressively opens one's grounded energy awareness so that quite rapidly almost anyone could progress to non-pendulum testing and ultimately direct sensing.
  

  This testing procedure, if used carefully and with awareness also works for one's possible future choices or actions, so that one can make one's life much more advancing for one's health and self realization without following anyone's rules or teachings (which are generally not 100% right for any one person) and instead just testing and eventually simply being able to sense directly what is or would be truly for your benefit (i.e. your 'ultimate good') - so, with care you can get everything right for yourself in the healthiest sense.

  This way, you could, for example, avoid buying a house which would be energetically harmful to you, and indeed could identify one which would be an excellent match for you, and you could also test things like the appropriateness for you of the timing of a possible future action or move.

  One of my great benefits from this testing procedure is that I'm straightaway starting to make choices of food and meals that are not just directly physically healthy but are also healthy for me in energy terms (and thus much healthier physically in the longer run).

• a set of invigorating yogic practices ('weaves' - not ordinary 'Yoga') to progressively strengthen one's energy system and return much of the life force energy which is generally progressively lost with age (causing an accumulation of physical problems normally thought of as natural ageing), but which process is actually reversible even if not all the physical issues are fully reversible. So, you can gain increasing vitality and health as you rejuvenate your energy system with the daily practices.
• (from the consultation, based on direct 'reading' by Stephen Kane and not any pre-existing theories, opinions or teachings):
  • recommendations of specific diet supplements and a homoeopathic remedy to address particular energy weaknesses of mine and thus to assist against certain long-standing physical issues of mine as well as strengthening my energy system against entities and other 'foreign' energies.
  • Recommendations of particular foods to avoid and also to emphasize in my diet, to meet my specific healing needs (e.g. not what is good or bad for osteo-arthritis generally, but what would be good or bad for my osteoarthritis).
  • Additional 'weave' practices that are for meeting specific healing needs of mine.
  • A particular means to tune my Energy Egg so that it addresses specific healing / strengthening needs in my energy system - particularly relating to making my it progressively more resistant to entities and other 'foreign' energies.
• A real sense of starting to live with awareness, positive intent and self mastery and beginning to leave behind the sense of being stuck in an inappropriate abode and a troublesomely repetitive routine and in many respects unfulfilling lifestyle (and of course stuck with the 'entities').

As part of my new 'living with intent' based on my new cultivation of energy awareness and making only 'strengthening' choices and actions, within a couple of weeks of the workshop I'd bought a new and better camera and then got the idea - supported by my energy testing to see if this would be for my ultimate good at this time - to set up a new website to present and offer for sale the high-grade photos of nature and wild scenery subjects that I'd be taking on my hikes with the new camera. The project was to be named Clear Mind Photos, and has duly got under way.

My daily use of the new practices has been powerfully and consistently increasing a deep and very grounded and 'present' happiness and security about me. This does not go up and down, but increments every day as I continue to use the practices. This has been progressively shifting the centre of my awareness more and more strongly away from the intrusions from the astral forces, so that although they do still intrude and interfere, they are increasingly easy to disregard, even while I keep fully vigilant and aware of all their little (attempted) tricks which still continue.

In late May, about a week after the workshop, the entities did try a last-ditch attempt to unseat me and make me flee in terror from the new methods - for they put upon me a sustained crisis-level attack full of little messages pretending to be my own thoughts to the effect that the new practices had fully opened me to the entities so that now they were taking me over. The manner in which they did this would have really freaked most people if they'd experienced anything like that.

Fortunately by then I well knew the sort of tricks they play (deceit is their middle name and every other name of theirs too!). I contacted the Crisis Resolution Team and had a couple of those lovely people visit me for a chat, explaining to them articulately what was happening and that there was nothing to be worried about at all, and that they were serving their purpose for me admirably simply by enabling me to get my awareness more grounded again. That was enough for me to defuse that attack, quickly restoring my balance of awareness. I very much doubt whether the entities could put on another such strong attack now (though of course ultimately only time will tell).

The astral forces do still attack at times with sexual arousal, seeking to get me inappropriately lustful after certain young(ish) men who I've seen or encountered on my travels, but their main ongoing nuisance-making is the continuing interference with my anus and pee sphincter. Indeed, as I write, I actually have what I'm pretty sure is a small abscess in my anus (which two successive doctors have failed to diagnose correctly, claiming it's just aggravated haemorrhoids), and this would be resultant upon the anus clenching and consequent injuries there caused by the astral interference.

My concentration on the new practices, which do not involve any theory or model of higher realities or higher beings, has reinforced my complete relinquishment of all 'story' to my life, so that I live in a very grounded way, joyfully accepting the here-and-now. I don't concern myself at all now with that supposed Divine Support Team which had been set up for me. Indeed now I see that sort of thing as illusory and all part of the workings of the 'dark side' - seeking to lure us into dealing with supposed external presences rather than the 'highest' source of all, which is actually our core essence. I see much more clearly the dark force interference and influence with everyone around me, including ALL spiritual teachers of whom I'm aware - a great and constant reminder to rely on my core essence only and thus keep myself and my outlook pure and healthy.

As part of my clearing out the earlier dark force influences, at an early stage I actually consigned to landfill all those seemingly precious sacred geometry healing wands, which I'd been using so extensively on myself. Although their maker had presumably been making and supplying them with the best of intentions, he simply didn't realize that he himself was being seriously led astray by the astral ('dark') forces and was unwittingly working as one of their helpers, as are ALL healers / lightworkers within the New Age mindset and virtually all other healers / lightworkers too - all because they are failing to consistently work ONLY from their core essence in their healing work and for the gaining of necessary information for healing and positive life change purposes. Indeed, Gordon Hughes, maker of those wands, had been displaying some bizarre behaviour* towards me (as recounted in Troublesome Astral ('Dark') Entities - My Own Experience) which underlined his invalidity as a true healer / spiritual teacher.

* Later note (November 2008) - You can now read the actually extremely sinister story of what was really going on between Gordon and myself in Troublesome Astral Entities - My Own Experience.

Because of the completely 'non-story' way that I'm living and working on myself, I have discarded any view as to whether the remaining entities still interfering with me are 'real' or are self-created as Dalibor Zaviska had claimed. I can see plenty of evidence that Dalibor himself is seriously led astray by the 'dark side', as ALL teachers of whom I'm aware are, and it would undoubtedly be a part of the astral forces' agenda to deceive him and me as to my true state of affairs with regard to my entity interferences. Fortunately now I well understand that I don't need to know whether the interferences are from one type of source or another. I simply carry out my practices every day and keep my attention on my now very much improving everyday life experience. Within my mind, for some purposes I regard the entities as 'real' (i.e. external and separate from myself), while for other purposes I regard them as just a wayward part of my mind. I see neither view as true or false, but I simply use what assumption helps at any particular moment.

I generally describe the entities nowadays as 'entities' or 'astral entities' (or, humorously, within my mind, as N-titties!) just as a label of convenience, and I no longer label them as any particular type of entity such as demons, parasitic ETs, aliens, minions, bosses, astral 'lords' and so forth. Getting into identifying them in that latter way would be straightaway introducing 'story' into the issue and thus maintaining a bit more hold of the astral ('dark') forces upon me.

Meanwhile, what has happened about my arthritic right knee? -- In fact its recovery accelerated since the May workshop, and on 11th August, just two days before I started receiving my State pension (age 65), I walked the 21 miles and over 1100 metres of ascent from Exmouth to Beer once more, and since then I've really felt the knee no longer to be any sort of limitation on my hiking, even though I do still feel a little mild nagging there at times during such walks.

The true nature of 'my' emotional issues and past life experiences

My understanding now (supported by energy testing from my deeper aspects) is that almost all of the emotional issues that I've been carrying (at any time in my life) have not been my own - and that despite Dalibor Zaviska's categorical assurance earlier this year that all my remaining emotional material (which the entities were using in attacks upon me) was indeed my own (supposedly carried over from previous lifetimes and even soul traumas before / between incarnations), I was not carrying any material from prior to this incarnation and indeed couldn't have been doing so because I am not an old soul at all but an incarnation of a NEW soul*, who has never incarnated before!

* Later note (November 2008) - Nice try, and getting close, but the actual situation is significantly different again! Everywhere on this page where you see reference to incarnations of new souls, please read 'no-soul incarnations'.

This is true not just for myself, but, as I now understand it, it is true for the most 'open' and deeply aware people generally. My understanding tallies in important respects with Steve Gamble's challenging view on the nature of reincarnation, albeit with some differences because he was still being deceived by the astral forces. My understanding is now as follows. It needs to be understood that I am not claiming that this is 'truth' or 'reality' (which we can never know) but rather, that it is simply a healing perspective or working model which I find helpful and takes me forward more effectively than other perspectives.

Like other people who are very 'open', deeply aware and strong healing channels, and who are widely regarded as being old and very highly evolved souls, I am actually nothing of the kind, but, as I say, a new soul incarnation. Like all those others I thus couldn't possibly be carrying any emotional trauma material of my own which was not from this lifetime. Indeed, my childhood had pretty well nothing to traumatize me in major ways that would create major issues for me if I had no interference from external non-physical sources. Furthermore, my 'reading' now is that even my horrendous early childhood night terror experiences were not traumatizing me to anything like the extent that I'd previously understood.

So, what had happened to me in order to give me the apparent massive load of emotional material to clear? -- My 'reading' now (using my recently gained energy testing method) is as follows:

When I came into this life as a new soul (extremely deeply 'knowing' and aware as an unfettered and unobscured manifestation of the all-pervading fundamental consciousness), a number of lost human souls (ensnared, degraded and programmed by astral or dark forces) immediately attached to me parasitically, as happens to ALL new souls as they incarnate. This is what gives rise to the appearance of our carrying past life memories and traumas. In my case for some reason* I gained an exceptional load of these lost souls - some 30 of them, about half of whom were very severely traumatized by the circumstances / means of their deaths. I was thus experiencing their own memories and traumas from their own particular times in human history.

* Later note (December 2007) - That was a bit coy of me! As far as I can tell I do know the reason, and you can find it in Partial Walk-ins - How the astral forces nearly nobbled me.

Although certain of these parasitic consciousnesses could have been of the previously alleged historical previous personalities of mine, such as the biblical Elisha and Simon Peter or a supposed historical Gilgamesh, my 'reading' is that they were not so, but simply had some similarities in their particular experiences when they were alive - and the astral forces interfering with them and with me simply reprogrammed them and also interfered with me to make it appear that these lost souls' original incarnated experiences were those of particular historical or mythical personalities in order that I could then be presented with a big story or illusory reality about myself which would then ensnare me once I'd died. That's the way the astral forces or archons (i.e. 'the dark side) work on us all, albeit this usually happening more subtly and covertly.

So, does this mean that reincarnation doesn't happen? -- Actually, no, not at all. As I now understand it, the vast majority of human souls DO reincarnate - but that is because they have already become 'lost' (to the dark forces). As I indicate in Astral Entities - Interference and Attacks from 'The Dark Side', the astral ('dark') forces, in a myriad ploys, subterfuges and deceits, seek to get every new soul incarnation sidetracked away from full enlightened self awareness, so that when the person dies his/her beliefs prevent the natural 'homecoming' from occurring and thus leave the soul trapped in illusory, 'astral' realities (yes, including so-called Heaven!) in which their processing and programming by the 'dark forces' begins.

This includes programming to reincarnate. Through their sequence of reincarnations, these lost souls are progressively degraded and denatured, so that they become progressively less aware, and more aligned with power / control agendas rather than any notion of true, unconditional love. Religion and mystical and supposedly spiritual traditions are among the most potent tools of the dark forces in this process, in their presenting people with power / control agendas and illusory realities all in the deceitful guise of 'spirituality'. So, as people keep looking to spiritual pursuits to free themselves from the sticky mess they're in, the astral forces' lures and deceits repeatedly direct these people into strengthening the hold upon them of unawareness, delusion and power / control agendas.

So, this is why the astral forces are so keen to get people who are incarnations of new souls believing in reincarnation of the soul and particularly an evolutionary incarnational sequence - this belief to be part of the illusory reality which such new souls would take on as the beginning of their programming to reincarnate rather than 'go home'.

So, the price you pay for your religion or other beliefs about reality or your true nature is what people generally would regard as horrendous - if they but knew of this. You are then effectively condemned to a long-term process, over many reincarnations, of becoming an unaware, negatively-behaved human and eventually a denatured husk of your former self which doesn't even incarnate but simply attaches parasitically to new souls according to its programming and causes major problems for those new souls, helping the astral forces to divert nearly all of those into the reincarnation / degradation process to eventually become more of the same.

As to what happened to make my night terrors seem so traumatic for me, my 'reading' is that the trauma that I was feeling at that time was primarily not mine at all but instead was that of one or more of the traumatized lost souls attached to me. As I understand it, the astral forces directly gave me the horror visuals, and simultaneously they severely attacked NOT me but the relevant attached lost souls with certain of their trauma emotions - which I then felt as though it was my own emotions. The same procedure has been used in all the attacks on me over the years.

As I understand it now, all these lost souls attached to me are well advanced in their healing resulting from all my 'self' healing over the years, and so theoretically, if I continued my self realization work and didn't send them off sooner, at some point at last they would be able to 'go home', freed from the hellish tyranny of the astral or 'dark' forces.

I give a more comprehensive and balanced account of the nature of and interferences from astral 'entities' in Astral Entities - Interference and Attacks from 'The Dark Side'.

31st October 2007 - All gone?

Ha-ha! Where have I heard such things before?! Over the last few years the astral forces (posing as various higher sources) had repeatedly sought to torment me with false predictions of early removal of the 'entities' and their interferences, or claims that attacks from the 'entities' were now impossible, or this or that major issue had now been fully cleared, when actually the issues were clearly still very much with me.

So, what was I to make of it when my energy testing in late September - supposedly bypassing the astral forces' attempts to interfere - indicated that I was at last beginning to send off the attached parasitic lost souls, for real?

Here's a summary of developments, and make of it what you will...

• 1st September - Was unexpectedly motivated to buy three beautiful and quite large crystal / stone spheres at a shop in Boscastle (Cornwall) on a hike. At that point I assumed that this was just a matter of Feng Shui enhancements for my living space.

• 2nd September - Thanks to being reminded by a post in Stephen and Lynda Kane's Energy Awareness Forum, I started using a simple entity clearance procedure* involving my Energy Egg and Guardian Angel (see photos further below), doing it daily at the end of my early morning practices, and soon doing it also before going to bed and indeed sometimes also in the middle of the day. This procedure was actually presented more as a clearance method for foreign energies and entities in spaces rather than ones specifically attached to oneself, but my energy testing indicated that it would assist the clearance of all my entity attachments and interferences, although it would work progressively and not in any single 'magic stroke'.

  * I give details of a more powerful version of that procedure, which I subsequently took on, in Some Potent Self Realization / Healing Practices.

  My understanding was that this procedure would not actually send off the astral 'entities' for the time being, but would speed up the weakening of the hold of the attached lost human souls. Without the lost souls the astral forces would no longer be able to attack me (although they would still be able to interfere by intruding messages and 'pseudo-thoughts' into my mind).

  My energy testing indicated that it would be very beneficial to obtain still more of the stone spheres (which I did), and also to make an energy connection between my 'Guardian Angel' and every sphere of crystal or stone that I had in my flat (achieved by touching each sphere to the Guardian Angel). The point of doing this was allegedly to reinforce the 'signal' from the Guardian Angel when I carried out the entity clearance procedure. Such reinforcement from any individual sphere wouldn't be very much, as they really needed to be sitting on transmitter bases like the ones for the Energy Egg (but suitably larger, and I knew of no source for such a thing), and hence the matter of obtaining a fair number of these spheres and putting them in 'strategic' positions within my flat.

  Just to give you an idea of the scale of my 'sphere' usage, including some spheres that I already had before the new purchases, I ended up with the following placed at strategic points within my flat:
  

  • 2 large and 2 medium clear quartz;
  • 1 large milky quartz
  • 1 medium-large rose quartz
  • 1 medium-large aventurine
  • 1 extra-large and 1 medium-large white selenite;
  • 1 medium-large orange selenite;
  • 2 large howlite
  • 3 large dolomitic marble, which have a beautiful intermixing of thin blackish and thicker whitish veins through a darkish greenish-grey matrix
  • 1 large dark greenish serpentine
  • 1 medium-large green fluorite
  • 2 large closely banded Zimbabwean freshwater limestone - very beautiful
  • 1 each large of two very different-looking forms of verdite

• 16th September - prompted by another post in the Energy Awareness Forum, I used a new, enhanced method to reattune the Guardian Angel to myself. Once I'd done that my energy testing indicated that the Guardian Angel was now operating much more powerfully for me and this was likely to have a major impact on my entity clearance process.

• 21st September - Out of the blue, I felt that some 'cloud', some 'block', within my awareness, was now missing, and wondered if possibly any of the lost souls had actually started getting sent off. My energy testing indicated that 5 of the original 30 lost souls had indeed been sent off since the Guardian Angel reattunement on the 16th. I felt freer and still more strongly and consistently happy. From now on, although I still wasn't at all sure whether I was getting genuine information, I did a more or less daily energy test to see if any further lost souls had got sent on.

• 23rd, 24th, 25th September - Allegedly each of these days saw one more lost soul sent off.

• 5th October - Allegedly, at least 14 were now gone, including all those which were not severely traumatized. I say 'at least', because my careful use of energy testing revealed that many of the attached lost souls - especially the severely traumatized ones (about half of the original total) were to a fair extent fragmented as a result of their traumas, and thus were difficult to count exactly.

  On a hike on this day, I was surprised to find myself not troubling to find very private and secluded places to pee, and each time I had such a pee stop the thought came up in my mind that I no longer have to worry about people possibly seeing me peeing. My energy testing indicated that the lost soul that had been sent off the previous day was the first of the severely traumatized ones, and it was the one which had the primary emotional trauma that the astral forces had been using to keep my 'shy bladder' issue in place.

  I also learnt that the notion of my healing all these lost souls to completion through my own self realization work, although feasible, wasn't really for any ultimate good, because it was more beneficial for all involved that I get clear of all these entities as soon as possible. So, the name of the game was to send off each lost soul just as soon as its hold on me was weak enough for the entity clearance procedure to dislodge it, and not to think in terms of keeping any of them so that they could be healed to completion.

• 6th October - My energy testing indicated a way that I could use the 'Light-Sphere' and Energy Stone (see photos further below) to significantly enhance the entity clearance procedure. These two devices came from Dalibor Zaviska at the beginning of the year, and I'd recently declared them redundant and put them away. Dalibor had never given any instructions for their use, and maybe he himself actually didn't know how to use them really effectively, because he was following guidance from his supposed Divine Support Team, which I now understand to have been an astral-sourced invention and thus pretty well certain to hide from him any means of using those devices which would really help clearing out all entities and astral interferences.

  So, I now brought these into use, having made energy connections between these and the Guardian Angel and Energy Egg. I added a simple bit to the entity clearance procedure, which now involved the Light-Sphere and Energy Stone as well as the Guardian Angel and Energy Egg, and my energy testing indicated that this was now much more powerful and would speed up the entity clearance further.

  You can find details of an updated version of the entity clearance procedure, together with how to use the Light-Sphere and Energy Stone to enhance it, in Some Potent Self Realization / Healing Practices.

• 18th October - Allegedly at least 22 lost souls were now gone - and the one sent off on this day was allegedly the one which for my whole life so far had been the cause of the 'energy barrier' around me that had prevented me from having any really compatible close friendships, companionship or indeed a partner of any sort. It turned out that the vow which I'd previously been told I'd made in a long-past lifetime, never to form a close relationship again, had been real and not fiction - but it was not my vow at all but that of this particular lost soul which had now been sent off. That would go to explain why I still had had the barrier around me despite having done all the appropriate things to clear myself of any such vow. It's not possible to any great extent to directly clear a vow that you yourself never made - even if it is having major effects in your energy system.

  I understand that ALL vows which had been affecting me were similarly not mine at all and couldn't be effectively cleared from me, except by sending off the attached lost souls to which the particular vows actually belonged. You can't to any significant extent dissolve a vow which you yourself didn't make - even if that vow is seriously distorting your life and you're desperate to get rid of it.

  I understand that - if indeed all the above is true - over the next several months things are bound to start turning around for me with regard to my at long last beginning to find truly compatible friendships and companionship.

  By this time also I was feeling an extraordinary additional level of buoyant happiness and security within myself, regardless of the odd attacks which the astral forces still launched upon me (seemingly in a desperate attempt to stop me from putting new and challenging material on this website about their ways and how to clear them out).

• 23rd October - Allegedly the final four lost souls were sent off - two in the morning and two in the evening. The process had speeded up at the end because the entity clearance procedure had fewer lost souls to work upon, so the remainder were getting increasingly strong and focused 'attention'. I think this also partly accounts for the fact that the clearance process didn't go more and more slowly because of the remaining souls all being strongly traumatized ones. But then again, it was not just the entity clearance procedure but also my various practices such as Falling Lightning and Power Walking that were also clearing out trauma material from a decreasing number of these lost souls and so their own healing became faster each time another one was sent off.

The Energy Egg (left) and Guardian Angel (not fully to scale) on their transmitter bases

The Light-Sphere (left) and the Energy Stone - deceptively small in view of their power, both being no more than 15 mm diameter.
You can read more about all these devices in The Clarity-Sphere - 'The Ultimate' Healing Tool.

And now time tells whether it was true...

So, now allegedly with no remaining attached lost souls, I waited with bated breath to see if I still got attacks, for, I assumed, if I did get further attacks I must still have at least one lost soul attached to me - assuming I really did have no remaining emotional material of my own, which the entities could use as ammunition. In the event, the following day I did get some low-level bits of attack, and on the day after that, in response to something I read which 'pushed a button' for me, I got a quite strong attack. So, the sending off of all the lost souls, or maybe even the sending off of any at all was fiction after all.

-- Or was it?

My energy testing, despite my seeming to be keeping reasonably clear of the astral forces' attempts to interfere with the answers, consistently indicated that the lost souls had all been sent off as previously indicated, but also, what was happening now was that the astral forces were still able to use, and indeed were using, self-made simulations of the presence of the lost souls. Whereas self made entities had really not been a major issue for me earlier (despite Dalibor Zaviska's erroneous claims) because at that time the primary issue was still the real ones, now that the lost souls had all been sent off, the thought forms created and kept in place by my habitual expectation of the effects of their presence came to the fore and were being used and indeed reinforced by the astral entities.

So the story goes, what I was now experiencing in the attacks was not real emotional trauma at all (of mine or anyone else's) but simply memories of the trauma feelings - these memories being part of the bunches of thought forms which constituted the self created simulations of the lost souls. All these manifestations could be expected to dissolve within a matter of weeks, and in the meantime actually the strength of attacks couldn't be anything like as strong as they'd been when the entities were using the real lost souls as weapons upon me.

Although I cannot know what the truth is here, I do strongly suspect that I've been generally getting good information this time, for one very good reason - despite the odd attacks, which are generally at a very low level, I feel fantastic as never before! During the period of alleged sending off of the lost souls I felt a marked acceleration in the increase in strength of my happiness and mental clarity, with all sorts of new insights and "Well, I'm blowed - why didn't I ever think of that before?!" occurrences. And during the last couple of days of the alleged sending-off  I felt particularly dramatic changes of that sort, with a sense of an altogether new level of inner freedom. Even during the strongest of the subsequent attacks I still felt a tremendous freedom, happiness and security - much more so than during any previous attacks. So, something BIG had changed, whatever the actual situation was.

Also, despite all my doubts and scepticism, since the alleged final sending-off, I've had a consistent 'gut feeling' of 'knowing' that I was indeed at last free of the lost souls. Such deep intuitions, while not necessarily correct, do have quite a way of turning out to be right.

My understanding at the moment is that the astral forces will continue interfering with me even after the self-created thought form 'debris' from the lost souls has all dissolved. They would then not be able to attack me at all, but would still intrude answers to my thoughts, and insert messages and covert 'pseudo-thoughts'. However, without their being able to underscore those intrusions with any sort of manipulation of my feelings, they would then be much less of an issue, and much more easily ignored, and, at the present rate of my self realization and clearance process, even those interferences would have just about completely faded out at least within a year or two and possibly much sooner.

New practices turn the screw further on my little 'pets'

As though all the above developments were not enough, things are now intensifying further for the final clearance of astral interferences and indeed for my whole self realization process. So, slightly fast-forward from the last journal entry above, to 31st October. I now have the following new practices:

• Happy Anus - a very simple and brief yogic practice to speed up elimination of the entities' interference with one's anus, and may also help with the pee sphincter for some people. As I understand it, astral entities are responsible for at least the vast majority of people's problems with those two sphincters being over-tight and actually clenching and sometimes going into spasm - with the related issue of aggravated and difficult-to heal anal fissures and haemorrhoids and also consequent anal abscesses which can lead to fistula formation. I came up with this practice myself by using my energy testing method, and am currently testing the practice on myself.

  My understanding is that this fixation of astral entities upon interfering with people's lower sphincters is because what they actually do in the person's energy system to achieve those effects interferes with and weakens that person's grounding, thus making the person more vulnerable to them. The causing of discomfort and, for some people, severe pain and real misery or worse is thus not the direct aim of the entities but is a distinct bonus for them and their pernicious agenda.

• A significantly more powerful entity removal procedure, which replaces the one I was using to clear off the lost souls. It similarly uses the Guardian Angel and Energy Egg, and I've extended it again to include use of the Light-Sphere and Energy Stone. This was posted on Stephen and Lynda Kane's Energy Awareness Forum just a few days ago.

  I give details of this and Happy Lower Sphincters in Some Potent Self Realization / Healing Practices.

• Clearing All Weakening Connections - A new practice consisting of a set of simple yogic asanas (positions), which is used with the Guardian Angel. It not only helps dissolve all 'weakening' connections (with entities, people or indeed anything else), but it also appears to cumulatively make the Guardian Angel more powerful in this respect in its everyday functioning. This practice was posted along with the abovementioned entity removal procedure, and there it was given the (to me) highly inappropriate name of Stations of the Way. My own energy testing indicated that use of the latter name for it would be weakening for me (I think because of its connotations of religious or mystical traditions and their astral connections), so I was moved to give it a functional name which would be strengthening for me when I use it.

  Later note (April 2008) - I came up with a different version of this practice, which, although still strenuous, was not nearly as physically painful for me as the original, and was by a small but significant margin more powerful. It is described in Some Potent Self Realization / Healing Practices, but for me has been superseded by a much simpler and easier procedure with the Clarity-Sphere.

20th November 2007 - 'Mercury, the Winged Messenger'? - No, mercury POISONING!

No, this wasn't any sort of bad news but extremely good news, because I could do something simple about it. A few days ago my energy testing revealed to me that a very significant factor in most of my tangible health / physical problems had been - wait for it! - lowish-level MERCURY poisoning which I got at school.

This would have had some degree of adverse effects for EVERYBODY who studied or worked in any capacity at the particular school - Harrow Weald County Grammar School, Middlesex. I was there from 1953 to 1961. However, generally speaking, staff would have been less affected because the people most vulnerable to chronic mercury poisoning are those who are growing up - i.e. the students (or 'pupils' as they were called then, as though they'd been dug out of eyes!).

The source of the mercury poisoning? -- Careless and unaware handling and placement of metallic (liquid) mercury in the laboratories*. We were not warned about the dangers of mercury and of fooling around with it - the prime danger stemming from its significant volatility so that we were all breathing low levels of the extremely poisonous mercury vapour. If it were not for its very gradually vaporizing, metallic (liquid) mercury would actually be relatively harmless. Actually I myself did come to understand about the hazard while I was there at that school, because for a while I did a lot of reading up about elementary chemistry - but somehow I ignored my own best sense and still acquiesced in the general ignorance of the serious harmfulness of treating mercury without very great respect and failing to keep every bit of it well sealed up in appropriate containers.

* Actually there was also a lot of disregard shown to various other toxic substances, so some of us could well have had additional low-level poisoning effects (including cancers later in life) from various reagents and reaction products such as lead and barium compounds, and organic reagents and solvents such as benzene and aniline - not to mention the unhealthy level of hydrogen sulphide which was often generated in the chemistry lab, and, if I remember correctly, the lecture room.

Teachers turned a blind eye to some of us students (including me!) stealing little bits of mercury and playing with it, enjoying the little silvery 'splats' as we let little beads of mercury fall to the floor, to 'splat' out in a little silvery flash, disintegrating into a myriad minute beads which were too small to notice. As far as we were concerned, what we dropped to the floor had vanished - but in reality what we'd been doing was to finely disperse the mercury to maximize its vaporizing into the air and thus to maximize the poisoning which we received. We did this not only in the laboratories but in other parts of the school - corridors and classrooms - and so helped to spread the problem.

Also, those of us who studied biology periodically got a powerful extra 'shot' of mercury vapour poisoning, because of a particular enamelled tray which was left out on a window bench in the biology laboratory. This had a smallish amount of mercury left there open to the air, as though spilled, probably from filling a manometer. The mercury in that tray was largely broken up into beads (so increasing surface area and thus increasing the giving off of vapour). That was left there for, if I remember correctly, not days nor weeks, but YEARS!

You think that's bad enough, then! Well, what about this?

Stood on that tray with its payload of mercury was a laboratory tripod with Bunsen burner (are you sure you want me to continue...?), and one of the biology teachers (the one who taught botany - sweet, prim little Mrs Thomas, who died quite a number of years ago now) periodically had a large beaker on that tripod, in which water was heated and kept boiling for a while for some experiment or other - and each time that was going on, the tray with that lovely, so-pretty mercury in it quite rapidly became very hot to touch, so of course tremendously increasing the amount of mercury vapour in the lab. Ouch! Pity we had no such thing as a Health and Safety Executive in those days!

Particularly during my later years at that school I had a seemingly interminable succession of extremely painful staphylococcal infections - boils and gum abscesses (including at least one apical abscess, necessitating a tooth extraction), as well as experiencing a rather low resistance to the various respiratory infections 'doing the rounds'. I also had a fairly troublesome gut - something that has continued to the present day, though seems to have become on average a little better over the last few years, no doubt as a result of all my self healing work. Nobody thought that perhaps there was some underlying environmental cause for these issues. My mother kept explaining it all away by saying I must be just a bit 'run down', and such things were to be expected when one was growing up.

Well, in a way that last point no doubt had some truth in it - in the sense that the low-level mercury poisoning in Harrow Weald County Grammar School was no doubt being repeated in schools and other educational establishments up and down the country and indeed no doubt worldwide, and was contributing to what people assumed were normal 'growing up' health issues. Consider how many teenagers get acne, for example. Nobody seems to have convincingly explained why that happens, and perhaps we have an answer, or even the answer here. (Please note that I'm not claiming that this is a definite link, but it is something which is certainly worth investigating, for there is a real issue here concerning exposure to mercury vapour.)

Another physical issue I started getting late in my schooldays and afterwards was the appearance of the odd patch or two of itching rash, which would be very persistent in a particular location on my body over some time, then would typically disappear for a short while before reappearing somewhere else. For a long time it was in my pubic area. Its strength has weakened and its periods of absence have markedly increased over recent years (presumably owing to my general self healing measures). My energy testing now indicates that the rash was almost certainly caused (not just aggravated) by the mercury poisoning.

During the first few years of my getting that rash, I was wondering if it might be a fungal infection as antihistamine preparations seemed to have little or no effect on it - and guess what my father passed to me to try on the rash! Some of his Penotrane Fungicidal Jelly which he'd been using for suspected athlete's foot - whose tube bore the warning: "Poison: contains ... mercury in or