Do you want to be 'appropriate'? ...Or authentic ?
If there is any basic 'message' underlying this and my other websites, it is about the tremendous advantages and benefits of being truly authentic as distinct from merely 'appropriate' in your outlook and lifestyle. Being truly authentic is the ultimate mental health, which makes a mockery of the travesty of the 'mental health' that is aspired to in so-called mental health services and organisations. The vast majority of people are to varying extents actually programmed* to shy away from authenticity and take refuge in 'appropriateness'.
* I use that word not just as a figure of speech but actually to signify something quite sinister. I am referring to real programming, and it comes from none other than a seriously troublesome non-physical influence that I call the garbage (aka 'dark force', 'forces of darkness', 'forces of evil'), which interferes with every single person on the planet. It is that programming that distorts a certain level of a person's consciousness to create the 'soul', which latter is thus a dysfunctional or pathological manifestation, as I explain in The True Nature of 'The Forces of Darkness' and its Interference and Attacks. It appears that I myself lack such programming, because I belong to a small minority of people who are no-soul incarnations - in other words, direct, 'immediate' incarnations of fundamental consciousness ('the Ultimate'). Such people are naturally authentic and find other people's 'appropriateness' bewildering and trivial.
So, what do I mean here by these terms?
Authenticity is being truly and deeply yourself. In other words your outlook and lifestyle and behaviour are determined by your deeper nature, which is thus allowed to 'flow' and become manifest. You could say that a person who is being authentic is 'genuine' or 'self-honest'. Such a person has no agendas apart from being 'naturally him/herself'. That deeper nature is naturally 'dynamically relaxed', vibrantly and deeply aware, positive, energetic, alert, unconditionally loving, secure, happy and creative, and gives rise to a vivid and abundant life experience. A natural powerfulness flows from that deeper nature, which has nothing to do with personal status or power / control agendas.
To dispel any possible misunderstanding here, it is necessary for me to point out that a truly authentic person, being deeply aware and also flexible in their outlook and behaviour, does NOT go around like a bull in a china shop, just 'doing his own thing' and upsetting everyone everywhere (s)he goes. No, such a person, being strongly and deeply aware, is much more genuinely considerate to other people than anyone who is locked into the 'appropriateness' model, which is based in unawareness. A truly authentic person learns quickly where, when and how to avoid "pushing people's buttons" in unhelpful ways, even if sometimes this may require the temporary concealing of their own 'truth' in order not to set up needless barriers.
That does not mean that a truly authentic person seeks to be unchallenging all the time. Far from it. Rather, such a person is flexible in his / her approach and makes sensible and practical choices in order to maintain a healthy balance of fearless direct challenge and harmonious parallel existence.
'Appropriateness' is trying to be how you want people to see you - which is usually, but not necessarily, what you believe people around you expect or want of you. It is not real appropriateness, which is why I am putting it in quotes every time, because really the most appropriate thing is always to be genuine and authentic - but the vast majority of people have by certain means been programmed not to understand this very simple logic and to live false, ersatz lives that are not truly their own but are to varying extents set up to conform to other people's perceived expectations of them*. By living 'appropriately', a person is being 'self-dishonest'.
* Although the 'other people' involved would normally be what is assumed to be 'everybody', in some cases the 'other people' may themselves be some minority group, such as Buddhists, Christians, 'Goths', paganists, healers, Satanists, 'twitchers' (bird watchers), Social Democratic Flower Arrangers, astrophysicists, doctors, psychiatrists, left-handed albino Rosicrucians, and so forth.
The programming therefore tends to steer people into conventions and traditions, whether those be of the majority or a particular minority. People set up close relationships and even get married, and procreate, with no idea of whether all or indeed any of that would actually be for their own deepest and ultimate good. Likewise, they choose their clothes, buy their consumer products and their entertainments without reference to what would truly and deeply benefit them or truly reflect their deepest nature or true identity, and without consideration for what would serve or fulfil any genuine underlying purpose in their physical existence.
'Appropriateness' always limits people's life experience, greatly narrowing their awareness and their life options. Because all the time it involves personal agendas of status and power / control issues, it leads to all manner of conflicts, negativities and indeed all the troublesome things we see going on in the world.
'Appropriateness' is pattern-based and thus rigid in nature. It has no concept of maintaining a flexible balance, and will always tend to put pressure on non-conformers to conform. Unsolicited advice such as "You should do xxxx." and "Why don't you do xxxx?" are typical control measures of people's 'appropriateness' outlooks. They do not see the true human being at all and instead see only another focus for exerting control.
Indeed, sorry to say, the latter is one of the primary reasons for people wanting to have children (without regard to whether it is really in their or the world's best interests that they do so), just as it is also one of the primary reasons for keeping a pet (though rarely acknowledged!).
Always at the risk of being accused by members of the 'Appropriateness' Brigade of brazenly flaunting a super-big ego (indeed on occasions they not only accuse me but abuse too!), on my websites I point to what true authenticity can be like, for I myself have always been dedicated to my own authenticity and am nowadays doing what I can, within the bounds of maintaining reasonable balance in my own life, to stimulate and catalyse the cultivation and growth of authenticity in others.
The process of cultivating your own authenticity - making yourself increasingly a manifestation of your own, perfect, deepest nature - is what I mean by the terms self-realization and self-actualization, and on my Self-Realization site you get a whole and very challenging perspective on how you can progressively become fully authentic yourself, free from all hindering and obstructive influences, whether those are from other people, emotional issues that you are carrying, or from troublesome non-physical sources (particularly interferences from the garbage, many of whose actually illusory manifestations get described as astral or 'dark' entities).
Through being authentic rather than 'appropriate', I have at various times in my life caused bewilderment among people who knew me, because I would get deeply into some particular interest or activity and then, after a while, I would move on and take up something else. It was amazing how seemingly highly intelligent people would berate me for suddenly not conforming to one or another stereotype that they had placed upon me, and that I had suddenly broken for them. Some wanted me to be a stereotype 'gay' to comfort them in their own sexuality issues, which latter they were not doing anything to resolve. Others wanted me to be a devoted entomologist with no significant other interests. Others wanted me to remain just a poet, or just a writer of novels and short stories, or just a nature photographer, or just a composer of major musical works, or just a healer or 'spiritual teacher'. They were all seeing and to varying extents attaching themselves to limited images of me, rather than actually the authentic me!
For the same reason, quite a few people get edgy and uptight about me on the basis of what is on my websites, because they find my own expansiveness of outlook and life experience to be alien to their 'appropriateness'-related restrictedness of outlook. You can see the odd examples of that sort of thing in my Visitors' Book, and I get the occasional personal communications of a similar nature. The words 'ego' and occasionally 'arrogant' get thrown at me like mud pies, and such individuals who are themselves in some supposed self-realization / self-actualization or 'spiritual' path are additionally inclined to seek to impose upon me their own opinions and beliefs, lecturing and haranguing me, seeking to convince me or the world that I am a misguided impostor or charlatan who is falsely claiming that I'm enlightened and falsely claiming that I've found true clarity or truth, and of course I'm accused of seeking to impose my own supposed 'beliefs' upon other people - yet these people show no evidence that they themselves are enlightened or particularly self-realized (they simply have strong beliefs about enlightenment and self-actualization), and they offer nothing positive nor constructive that would in any way make their communications worthwhile.
What those people are really communicating is fear. Their particular programming makes them react out of fear when they countenance a person being as authentic as can be and demonstrating a true abundance of life experience, because their more limited view born in their own 'appropriateness' is then being implicitly challenged, and it is fear that is the distorted 'consciousness energy' that holds their 'appropriateness' programming in place.
A particularly common distorted 'appropriateness'-sourced opinion that is put to me is that anyone who is seen to be some sort of 'spiritual teacher' (not that that is an appropriate description of me nowadays anyway) should be very modest, quietly spoken and humble, and should have no abundance in their lives, and should not publicly mention any special achievements, abilities or 'gifts' of theirs, including such things as their being enlightened*. That, dear friends, is one of the sick distortions of supposedly enlightened living that come from certain religious traditions - notably most Buddhist traditions - and actually is among the things that demonstrate the harmfulness of those traditions through their permeation with control agenda (albeit sometimes quite subtle). On my Self-Realization site I explain the source of such distortions**, and how all religions, without any exception that I know of, and indeed all so-called spiritual paths, are leading people in a direction that would horrify virtually everyone if they came to properly understand what is really going on.
* For more about that issue, please see Modesty and Humility - Cutting through the Confusion.
** Please see The True Nature of 'The Forces of Darkness' and its Interference and Attacks.
However, my 'message' is not a paranoid one, because it is about seeing the problem clearly in order to effectively address it and, as far as possible, actually resolve it. True paranoia has no thought of real solutions! And, to the best of my understanding, the issue of the garbage's interference in everyone's lives, giving rise to 'appropriate' rather than authentic living, and indeed virtually all the world's significant problems, is indeed apparently soluble at least to some degree - to the extent that people wake up to the fact and are willing and motivated to take appropriate simple, painless, safe and completely non-scary measures.
For a light-hearted literary portrayal of authentic vs 'appropriate' living, please see The Man With the Knobbly Knees.
If you understand, things are as they are.
If you do not understand, things are as they are.
If you believe that things are, or should be, one
way or another,
you have not yet understood.
"It's really cool to be normal..."
Portrait of a normal person
Why are you banging your head against that wall?
Sorry, I don't have time to stop and think about such things. I'm too busy banging my head against this wall. -- Oh, please do me a favour and pass the Paracetamol... -- And while you're about it, please bring the television round here so that I can watch it while I'm banging my head on this wall. You do need some entertainment to make life bearable, you know...
(later) ...So, you're still banging your head against that wall, then!
Do you really mean that I shouldn't do what I enjoy? People should be free to do what they enjoy! That's what we're here for - to enjoy ourselves!
Portrait of a self-actualized, healthily functioning person
Why aren't you banging your head against that wall?
Oh, that! I tried it a long time ago, and it hurt and was most incredibly boring. Just look at my freedom and clarity and ease of being and all the happiness and abundance in my life now because I don't keep doing that silly thing and getting stuck in pointless ruts!
Well, in that case, at least you should take some Haloperidol to help cure you of your condition.
- Er, you're telling me that H- (expletive censored) is a self-actualization aid and brings happiness and abundance and positivity to one's life?
...And also you should use your television more, to help cure you...
What television? Where? My life is so full of wonderful things, why would I need one of those? ...Okay, if I ever have cause to get a big hole made in my head I'll consider getting a television at the same time...
(later) ...I see you're still not banging your head against that wall! Don't you ever let your hair down and enjoy yourself? You really should, you know. It's unnatural and not normal if you don't just let go and enjoy yourself a bit. ...You're nuts!
Then best not to eat me if you're sensitive to them!
Are you really so sure you want to be 'normal'?